This is part 2 of my series on conversational hypnosis. Please read part 1 before continuing.
Let me start by thanking everyone that wrote in with positive comments about my blog and the content. One of the requests was to break the content into smaller nuggets, which I will be doing starting from this entry.
I have read lots of books and attended dozens of seminars... Dr Cialdini has really summarized the “Principles of Influence” very succinctly.
These are :
People give back to you the kind of treatment they have received from you. If you listen to talk radio, you will likely hear lots of ads from well known sales training experts. Their ads usually give away free knowledge for simply calling in with your name and email address. We said integrity is important so they are providing something of value. Why would they do this? It is to strengthen their position with this point. If I give you something of value, you then are more likely to get me something of value in return.
In all honesty, if you listen to their ads, you will notice that they hit each and every one of these points. Coincidence? I think not.
This is an instinctual truth. The more rare something is, the more valuable we believe it must be. Why is gold more valuable than tin? When something is rare, people want to make sure they “get a piece of it”. They don’t want to “miss the boat”. This isn't necessarily real scarcity, it can be perceived scarcity.
People are more likely to be persuaded by you if they see you as having specific knowledge and credibility.
People are much more likely accept your proposal or see things “your way” if it is consistent with their public position. This goes back to the discussion about belief.
People are more likely to agree or say yes to you if you are like them.
In most sales training programs, they refer to this point as “Social Proof”. It is the activity of showing the other person that others have already done what you are proposing or bought what you are selling That it has worked out for them. That it is positive and worthwhile. This gives them the piece of mind that they are not the proverbial “Guinea pigs”.
In part 1 of this series, we spent all of the time talking about rapport and its importance. Rapport is king when it comes to persuasion. In close second is criteria.
Belief is based on a person’s internal criteria. And the easiest way to get someone’s criteria is to simply ask the right question. You need to ask the question in a way that feels natural and normal. You have to steer the conversation towards the direction of your question. It should feel like your question is a natural continuation of the discussion.
Let’s assume John (an insurance advisor) is trying to sell his product to Robert. After John lays the groundwork, you can expect something like this:
John: Robert, what’s important to you about life insurance?
Robert: I want a good price on a good policy
John: A good price for good coverage is important. What else is important to you?
Robert: The financial stability of the insurer. I want to make sure they are around if my family needs them.
John: You definitely want to make sure you are working with a AAA rated top insurer. What is most important about financial stability?
Robert: I want to make sure my family is taken care of if something happens to me. I don’t want them to worry about the money.
John: Nothing is more rewarding than the piece of mind of knowing your loved ones are taken care of.
Remember the magic criteria formula is “What’s important to you about...” I recommend you go around asking this question to friends and family. Practice asking, getting a response, pause, use and/because, find points to agree with them. Then ask what is important about (the thing they just said). Use slight variations also like “what’s most important about..” Keep going until you get to something less tangible. A feeling. The non tangible is the most important and worth reinforcing.
Listen and keep asking questions. You will eventually get to what is truly important to the other person. Generally a feeling or emotion. When you hit the intangible, you hit gold.
To be continued...
I will likely have to write 4-5 entries to completely talk about covert hypnosis so stay tuned and check back often. If you have questions or want additional details, please post them below in the comments section.